Welcome!
I wanted to make a page to help inform and educate others on the symptoms of people affected by borderline personality disorder, or BPD. I, myself, have been diagnosed twice and wanted to share my insight on the disease and how I cope with it in a healthy manner.
HomeSigns and Symptoms
(Trigger Warning!! Self harm.) When I first started experiencing symptoms I was about 13, I just knew something was off or different about me. I did my own research but with the internet still in its infancy, and the disease not very wide known yet, I was at a loss of what it could be. I started getting panic attacks where I would black out, bottled feelings up and started self harming via cutting (suicide attempt). That's when I was put into a psychiatric ward for minors and diagnosed the first time as BPD. Back then cutting was a major sign of the disease but as the years have gone and there have been way more studies on the illness, it's proven to be a much more complex disorder than previously thought.
What does it feel like?
BPD is different for everyone, just as any illness. But here is a list of common symptoms, some required for diagnosis.
Emotional Instability
Intense and rapidly shifting moods, difficulty regulating emotions leading to extreme reactions to perceived threats or stressors, chronic feelings of emptiness and boredom, self-harm or suicidal thoughts and behavior.
Cognitive Distortions
Dissociation: feeling disconnected from oneself or reality, paranoia and delusions (in some cases), distorted sense of self leading to feelings of inadequacy or worthlessness. This may come with anxiety and depression as well.
Impulsivity and Self-Harm
Impulsive behaviors, such as spending sprees, substance abuse, or unsafe sex, recurrent self-harm, such as cutting, burning, or bruising. This may also include eating disorders such as bulimia and anorexia in order to self sabotage.
Relationship Difficulties
Fear of abandonment and intense need for closeness, Difficulty maintaining stable relationships, often characterized by idealization and devaluation, Impulsive or reckless behaviors in relationships, Splitting: seeing people as either all good or all bad. (We will get to that here in a sec.)
